thus making me awesome and them whores
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
