Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...

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  (248): I fell asleep on the toilet again last night... http://tfl.nu/rzc7
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (920)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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  (518): I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever. http://tfl.nu/idj0
  Replies (39) Good night (5701) Bad night (1179)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.

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  (410): I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night. http://tfl.nu/vy3a
  Replies (31) Good night (7221) Bad night (884)
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  (925): View more from California

  just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook

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  (925): just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook http://tfl.nu/1a75
  Replies (32) Good night (3912) Bad night (2301)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.

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  (917): Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick. http://tfl.nu/d1ac
  Replies (21) Good night (5812) Bad night (1414)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

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  (503): She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis. http://tfl.nu/3s19
  Replies (47) Good night (8839) Bad night (2231)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous

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  (978): The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous http://tfl.nu/iens
  Replies (15) Good night (5423) Bad night (1364)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

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  (317): If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation. http://tfl.nu/ifsj
  Replies (12) Good night (4989) Bad night (1851)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.

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  (775): Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form. http://tfl.nu/2bqh
  Replies (4) Good night (1563) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  How are ur friends?

  (512): View more from Texas

  One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car

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  (214): How are ur friends? (512): One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car http://tfl.nu/yl37
  Replies (4) Good night (1066) Bad night (489)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I have a surprise for you

  (1-254): View more from Texas

  Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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  (254): I have a surprise for you (1-254): Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy! http://tfl.nu/af5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2459) Bad night (609)
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  (958): View more from

  her vagina just converted me to Judaism.

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  (958): her vagina just converted me to Judaism. http://tfl.nu/z5ti
  Replies (5) Good night (1279) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier

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  (207): i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier http://tfl.nu/yoel
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.

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  (705): His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband. http://tfl.nu/yqll
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something

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  (815): I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something http://tfl.nu/de55
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (261)

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