mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....