Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (2312) Bad night (864)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up on my floor...

  (1-516): View more from New York

  I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...

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  (516): I woke up on my floor... (1-516): I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop... http://tfl.nu/u1o5
  Replies (12) Good night (4023) Bad night (813)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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  (503): It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/grez
  Replies (32) Good night (728) Bad night (3431)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.

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  (214): ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it. http://tfl.nu/o4vn
  Replies (7) Good night (3770) Bad night (756)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?

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  (740): Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory? http://tfl.nu/3lqg
  Replies (18) Good night (4348) Bad night (1017)
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  (760): View more from California

  i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.

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  (760): i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days. http://tfl.nu/h902
  Replies (11) Good night (2153) Bad night (1067)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me

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  (+44): Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me http://tfl.nu/dbfn
  Replies (9) Good night (1167) Bad night (4295)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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  (603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc
  Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (1512)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?

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  (610): Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil? http://tfl.nu/j8sh
  Replies (5) Good night (1530) Bad night (667)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?

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  (514): I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!? http://tfl.nu/cwiy
  Replies (16) Good night (1016) Bad night (2307)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me

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  (573): Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me http://tfl.nu/lmhn
  Replies (7) Good night (1917) Bad night (754)
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  (831): View more from California

  I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.

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  (831): I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible. http://tfl.nu/g067
  Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (638)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?

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  (612): Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle? http://tfl.nu/3yux
  Replies (2) Good night (926) Bad night (434)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.

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  (706): Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes. http://tfl.nu/784u
  Replies (3) Good night (1275) Bad night (423)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.

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  (860): I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today. http://tfl.nu/vp47
  Replies (8) Good night (365) Bad night (865)

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