On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling