Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
