Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
