flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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