i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize