ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
