I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
