just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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