I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
