dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
