Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
