I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.