i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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