She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
