Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
