why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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