That's intense
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
