you would pick up someone in the library
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
