I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
