He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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