Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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