I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
