went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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