actually, I'm a sock model
why didn't you poke me back
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am one with the molecules
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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