Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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