I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
