The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
