You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize