The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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