Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize