we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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