he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
