Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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