Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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