Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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