better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
