He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
