It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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