i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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