I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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