So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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