girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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