I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize