my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize