Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Congratulations! We have a period
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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