My pussy is not your playground.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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