At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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