That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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