why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
