Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
