I love black thongs
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
