Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
