good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
