You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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