are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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