she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
