dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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